Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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