I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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