The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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