he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
