sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
