69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
