i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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