You just made me feel so damn special
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
