the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
