he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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