i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
