would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
