Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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