Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
