He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
false alarm, still single
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
