No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
