Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
