In the future we'll all be gay
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
