just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
