you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
