a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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