I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
