I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
