have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
