"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
