4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
