i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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