Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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