I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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