i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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