garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
