they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
