take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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