i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I have tasted many bathrooms
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
