So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
