Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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