dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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