he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
