I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
