what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
too bad you live with your parents still
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
