Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Randomize
