I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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