I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
