Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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