Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
