Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
