turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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