anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
