im about as happy as oj after his trial
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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