take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
