At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
