She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
