I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
