U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
